Hi freak, I feel you 100%
I try to deal by living my life by my own values and moral guidelines. After 27 years I have come to accept my identity as a "social misfit". A friend I crossed paths with in school shared that concept with me. There are actually a LOT of social misfits in this world...it's just the Norms and their Norm society that dictate those behaviors that make us feel like lonely freaks. There are some places in this world where the social misfit is embraced and even celebrated: usually, cities or towns with a thriving art/music/alternative-lifestyle culture: NewYork, SanFrancisco, LosAngeles, Paris, Copenhagen, Amsterdam, Berlin, Adelaide, Portland, Santa Cruz, Savannah, Austin...(those are the ones I can think of...and that's obviously just the tip of the iceberg!). And if cities aint yo thing, all kinds of folks choose to move "off the grid": able to completely remove themselves, and their economic contribution, from a society they do not stand behind. Many of the most successful artists, musicians, and thinkers are socially awkward, depressed, bipolar, etc.
It takes a diffent kind of mind to break out of the homogenizing confines of "normal" thought and behavior, and create something new and unique...and that "something" can be a life created to fit your dreams and desires as a unique human being. Just because a lifestyle hasn't come to you yet doesn't mean that with some research and an open mind, you won't soon find the "perfect thing" for you
Wilderness forest ranger? Self-employed artist? Traveling musician? Computer engineer?
The possibilities are endless! Just remember that when your depressed mind is telling you the opposite
And p.s. Unfortunately there are as many f'ed up therapists out there as there are f'ed up people, but if you stick to your guns, get rid of the Ts that aren't helping you, and keep on keeping on...you might find that rare one that listens, understands, and can do their JOB well for you. I am currently trying out a new T, my first male one, after 5 pretty useless therapist experiences. He seems cool! This could be the one...?
Good luck to you