Granted I don't understand social anxiety (I get normal anxiety tho) do you think that maybe you could work with a T or group to feel more comfortable in your own skin? Coz then maybe you won't be so caught up in fitting in. To me standing out is WAY better than fitting into some mold (invented by who exactly) and there are ALOT of people who share that sentiment. You don't have to be part of the crowd, and you don't have to have neon signs on you either (unless you want them) but I believe that you should be proud of your different hair and different dress sense, it's part of what makes you unique. I understand that this might be difficult right now, but I hope you can believe it some day, and embrace who you are.
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Take care