texas man when we use it's because we want to use. add to that we've prob damaged relationships with others by our behavior. seems your wife may be pulling back to protect her own feelings about all this. for us imo those fences take time to heal even if we are clean and sober. the recent choice you made compounds the problem.
we sometimes think if only they'd understand us. we sometimes project our need to be comforted by others re our addiction. it takes the responsibility and focus off our own actions. truth is we can only find the comfort and solutions within ourselves.
a "little" or a lot is all the same. some form of a recovery program/group would help you, imho. i found i couldn't get sober on my own but through the support of ppl who had/have my problem. they could identify with my despair and my succeses. but in the end the choice was mine. use or not use. coming to grips with the choices i make. acknowledging the price we pay.
before we can restore some semblance of our living life in a healthy way it's important we accept the consequences of our behaviors. but we can change. that is a choice too.
i wish you well. glad you posted. we can support you in your struggle to be clean and sober. keep us posted. we do care.