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Old Apr 14, 2012, 08:09 AM
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PreacherHeckler PreacherHeckler is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Close to the Adirondacks but not close enough
Posts: 578
Quote:
Originally Posted by VenusHalley View Post
would he be able to handle it back then?
That's something he would have needed to work through with his therapist. It's not at all helpful to "save us" from having to face the consequences our own behavior because we might not be able to handle it at a particular point in time. How fair or helpful is it to think everything is ok and then be told, years later, that it wasn't? A good therapist does not handle things that way.
Consistent messages are extremely important in therapy. What's most important to consider is, what was CE told about his therapist's expectations of his behavior at the time? If a therapist says one thing but does another, we might as well not be in therapy at all because we can't trust someone whose expectations are unclear and inconsistent. If we're in therapy to understand ourselves and change problematic behaviors, how can we do that if a therapist tells us our behavior is acceptable but then some years later she decides to tell us it wasn't acceptable? What good is that information now?
__________________
Conversation with my therapist:

Doc: "You know, for the past few weeks you've seemed very disconnected from your emotions when you're here."
Me: "I'm not disconnected from my emotions. I just don't feel anything when I'm here."
(Pause)
Me: "Doc, why are you banging your head against the arm of your chair?"
Doc: "Because I'm not close enough to a wall."

It's official. I can even make therapists crazy.

Last edited by PreacherHeckler; Apr 14, 2012 at 08:32 AM.