I don't associate how I look to being desired by my husband anymore; as you implied, my husband isn't in any better shape than I am? We're both obese, he's bald, belches and farts to much :-) etc.

Men are wired differently and the visual is important to their sexual arousal. Given that sex feels good and my husband and I are in our 60's, good luck on his looking at me and being visually stimulated! Maybe this article will help you a bit:

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/03/16/he...ted=all&src=pm

My husband is enough of a gentleman, caring about my feelings to watch his Playboy videos, look at his lingerie magazines when I'm not around, doesn't surf the Web for porn (we have our own computers; I wouldn't mind but he isn't that insecure himself, needing sex for stress relief or otherwise to "need" to spend additional time looking for it?).

Have you all discussed porn and what he gets from it and what you'd like, etc.? I am my husband's second wife and his first was very against his Playboys and being interested in lingerie, etc. and I know it was a great relief to him but took him a long time to adjust to my "interest" in what interested him and being accepting of it rather than condemning him for it. They are different than us in how they are aroused but that does not mean they do not like us :-) as their wives and sexual partners.

If I were you, I'd feel a little sorry for him that he had to surf porn on his cell phone for a couple hours before he could actually get to where he could have sex with a person? He's the one who has a problem, not you!