Quote:
Originally Posted by My kids are cool
I thought, and I know I don't actually KNOW anything, that although CE's T accepted CE's anger, his behavior was draining to her to the point where she lacked the emotional energy to find new group members and keep the good group going. So, the take away message is NOT, Hey CE, it's all your fault that the group ended. It's more of a, Hey CE, although your T will not terminate you based on your behavior, your destructive behaviors do affect people.
From what CE posted, it seemed to me that CE's therapist has said that it was her responsibility that the group ended, but one of her reasons for her decision to end it was CE's behavior. I got my panties in a bunch with the total oh, totally not me at all, hand washing thing.
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I understand what you're saying, MKAC, but I still think it was her responsibility to address it with CE at the time if his behavior was draining her to the point where she lacked emotional energy to recruit suitable members and to keep the group going. And at that point she also should have gotten consultation to help her handle the situation she created by experimenting with a group format when she apparently did not have the experience to deal with some of the issues common to group dynamics.
Yes, therapists are human beings, but they should know themselves well enough to anticipate what they can and cannot handle, and if a therapist cannot handle intense negative emotions without it affecting her work, then she should limit her practice to people who are not likely to experience the extreme emotions common to trauma survivors. If I go to a surgeon I expect him or her to be equipped both physically and emotionally with the skills and endurance necessary to successfully complete the surgery; I don't expect him to suddenly decide halfway through the procedure that he can't handle the sight of heavy bleeding, and then later on tell me it was partly my fault that he had to walk away because I was bleeding so heavily. The same holds true for a therapist. I expect my therapist to know himself well enough to be able to handle what he says he can handle because he should have had the training and stamina to do what our friends and family can't do, and if he tells me he can handle intense anger then I need to be able to depend on his actions to match his words.
I could be wrong but I didn't think CE was trying to evade responsibility for his behavior. I saw him as questioning the usefulness of telling him when it was too late for him to do anything about it. The best time to learn from a behavior is while it's happening, by exploring it in therapy, being given an opportunity to change it, and being taught the skills that are necessary to change it. Otherwise you just end up with useless guilt over something you can no longer correct.