((((asdg7695))))

It is incredibly painful. You have shared a significant time in your life with your ex. It's very hard to accept that he's no longer there to lean back upon. That takes a while! My ex-hub and I have been divorced for 2 years, I can relate to what you're talking about to an extent.

Thankfully, you have the devotion to your son to hold onto. Sometimes, that's what we need to hold onto to keep us away from SI. Personally, making that agreement within myself made the ideas less intense and less tempting. It is a solid agreement that I just can't do it. Not an option!

Finding other interests has helped me a bit. For me, walking often helps me get into a better state of mind. So, I walk for 10 miles or so out in the country once or twice a week. On a bike path, with my iPod, looking at the trees, sky, birds flying...it's a big stress relief. Another tip is to help others. Volunteering to help homeless people, elderly and alone, needy animals, etc. are all options to get you out of your mind for a little while. There are lots of places that are happy to take volunteers ~ and that really does bring some sense of worth to me. Schools and YMCA's, Boys and Girls Clubs, get you thinking about something else.

Hope that you can find a few more ideas to help you get through the days less painfully and in a healthy way. Gentle hugs!