My Support Forums - View Single Post

Mindinpieces · 09:51 PM

Sorry you find yourself in this situation. However like others posts you need to stop the touching first and foremost. It’s hard to see past that possible (we could end up in a relationship thing) and properly look at this from all aspects. I say this because something sort of similar happened between me and a guy. So sorry if I am of no help or totally got this wrong. I have only ever been with one guy and unfortunately done everything with him so I am probably not the best advisor for you.

You need to let him know that yes it was fine for him to touch you that time but it was a one off. Or if you really regret it tell him you found that situation uncomfortable (explain honestly why) because if you don’t he’s only going to see it as it’s fine to experiment with you. Now please don’t think I mean this in a harmful way but even if he likes you at this point it seems his more concerned about his sexuality and what gets him going. Which isn’t fair on you because it’s only going to cause you heart ache and regret, if things turn out to be he only wanted to see how he felt and used you. However he could see you as a friend that could turn into being in a relationship with. It sounds as if you have some good aspect to interacting with one another in platonic sense. Even so letting him touch you will not help because even if in future you start a relationship this will only turn it sour as it will end up feeling like he doesn’t care for you or only see’s you as way to get off. I ended up being that to the guy I thought cared for me. However the guy you like may not be like that. Everyone is different I am only using my experience to try and relate and advise you as best I can.

You have to try and think about this from all aspects. Try writing how you feel about this because it’s easy to think he could care, why can’t I have that sort or relationship, we are young and it’s ok to do those things, we are being responsible. If you listen to those voices in your head that tell you what you want to hear about how you would like to see this turn out. You could blindly end up regretting and causing yourself a lot of emotional pain. Not just emotionally, things can get out of hand physically and you need to that responsibility and not let that happen or if it does be prepared.

Try to write down - How do I feel about him? – How would I feel if he wants relationship with me? – Am I mentally in a place for a relationship at this moment myself? – What would I want from a relationship with him? – Am I able to care for him and support him? – If it turns out that’s not how he sees me, can we still be friends? You have to ask yourself things like this because it’s easy to overlook how you really feel because you got caught up in the moment and didn’t really what to see anything other than what you thought would make you happy and wanted. This is what I done and I lost what little self-respect I had for myself because I didn’t stop and think.

It does sound like you are responsible and know yourself well but everyone sometimes misjudges things. If he truly cared for you he would respect you and not over step any line. If you both cared the same for one another then it wouldn’t matter if you waited. Before letting one another know you might like to be in a relationship together. That person would still care for you in future, if not a little stronger because you allowed a bond to grow between you by just getting to know one another first. This way no one has to have any unnecessary hurt by rushing and not fully thinking things through.

You said you confessed to liking him well he might see this as it’s ok to do things with you because you said so yourself to him you liked him. However there is never anything wrong in checking how a person feels towards you and the reason why he done that to you. Also at this time it may be best to find out how he feels about you and not mention a relationship just yet. It’s best to just let your friendship turn into something more over time and not be forced by either of you. This way you can learn to love and respect one another and have a good relationship if things go down that path.

Sorry I have probably not helped you at all and most likely totally got this wrong. But please don’t make the same mistake I did and find out he only wanted you for his own pleasure and couldn’t be there for you emotionally because you rushed things and didn’t think them through well.