U prob right, that I dont know what it's like, only you know that. I'm so sorry for you feeling this way Prue.
Things I have felt: I want nothing more than to die in my sleep. I was meant to die in 7th grade when I ODd in a high school bathroom. Or again when I got 2 bloodclots in my brain when I was 19, or a month ago when I had a kidney stone and felt like my inside were being torn out. My life is only a burden to my family and friends. I was not designed correctly for this world...oh the list goes on...
Not to have a "who's life is more messed up" contest! I just want you to really understand that I've felt the darkness too, and still do. It's that depression monster eating at you...but it is NOT YOU and you have to keep fighting. Don't let its darkness eat up your light.

please take care lovely girl