One of my bad memories surfaced....... My stepfatther who had raped me over and over...... got me pregnant when I was just 16........ I had to take care of it.... I hated him with all of my being..... I could not bear to have his child.... it would have been damaged ..... I was just begining my life..... So last night I needed to feel something I was so numb and unfeeling ...... I hurt myself not to bad just enough to feel something...... I then soaked in alcohol to continue the feeling...... I will have to tell T tomorrow I broke the contract of not Self Injury........Altheia