Freak, I relate to a lot of what you say. Like you, I hate "useless chit-chat" and feel that I don't fit in. I came to this forum because I feel that my difficulties dealing with the rest of the "normal" world are too much to bring up around the people I see every day. I'm not even great at sharing with my family. I have good friends who have their own difficulties in life, so why do I want to burden them with mine?

It sounds as if you struggle with purpose - at least that's what I feel when I have doubts that I can do anything worthwhile for the "normal" world. And when we get depressed or hopeless, we lose interest in things we used to like, so it's harder to really connect with what might be good in the world. I think more people struggle with this than they let on. And I've learned over the years that there are a lot of different places all around the world and sometimes the people who make the loudest noise will make you think that you're not "normal," but that's not the truth.

Best wishes