Have you ever heard of or joined the Asexual Visibility and Education Network? Yes, Asexuals are rare, but even though AVEN is not a dating website, it is essentially a lot of eggs in one basket and many people have found relationships, got married etc from meeting on AVEN. With regards to your statement: "and in any event, that is not good enough for me as I seek the desire for sex as the satisfactory communicator of love", an asexual relationship does not have to be sexless and you might find that an asexual partner is willing to experiment or go slow with you if you wanted that part of a relationship, without the added pressure of a sexual need.

There are a handful of asexuals on these boards, myself included, so you are not alone there. Right now it sounds like you are pretty depressed and it's the depression talking, which I don't blame you for. You never know what might happen in the future. Things could work out in some way, or you could find peace with yourself. Hang in there.