I am in therapy, but I can't see my T now because I'm doing the intensive outpatient thing and my insurance won't pay for both at once. I think my T is part of the problem. I like her, she's a nice lady and easy to talk to, but I never leave feeling like I got any real insight or ideas how to cope better. I'm thinking once I get out of the IOP I may need to try another T at the same practice or start completely over somewhere else.

Just for the record the violence started long before the first affair. The affair probably didn't help, but it's not what started the problem. My wife is seeing both a religious counselor and a real T, but I don't know if her anger and violence are issues they are working on. I don't even know if she considers anger and violence to be issues she needs to work on. With things as delicate as they are right now, I'm not going to push to find out.

I know for the most part what my issues with the marriage are, but they aren't things I've been working on with my T. We've mostly been discussing trying to survive my depression. The manic side of my BP, my anxiety, my PTSD, and my OCD have all never really been addressed. Then I still need to work on my issues with the marriage, feeling used, unappreciated, taken for granted, unloved except for when she tries to smother me with way too much physical affection (which she is really needy about), and the whole physical/sexual relationship which is somewhere between lousy and nonexistent. Even if she gets her issues worked out and stops hitting me and starts acting like she appreciates me, I'll still have a long way to go working on my own stuff.