(((((((((((((Anne)))))))))

Staying in one place for me is so annoying. I want to just barrel on through come what may and "be done" so to speak. And at one point I did charge full steam ahean not paying attention to when I needed to stay put for a bit. the end result was my landing in a mental unit not for the 72 hour eval but beyond that to the full two weeks and then my unit psychiatrist told me that he was going to keep me another week possibly indefinately because the work I had been doing with my counselor outside the unit had stirred the pot of stew and when that happens the person needs time for those that I now remember to settle into my conscious awareness to where what my counselor and I were working on could resume and since I obviously was not going to give myself that time at home he was going to make sure I got that rest time on the unit.

Let me tell you a mental health unit is NOT where you you really want to be. during that "visit" I was restrained, medicated againt my permission and one night raped in the non smoking solarium by an orderly that had come to lock the solarium for the night.

Now I push myself to my limits but I also give myself the time I need to let things settle in. The time to let yourself settle in is when you are experiencing flashbacks beyond what you normally have, and so on because that is the brain performing the memory recall cycle doing what it needs to do to integrate new memories feelings and so on into your awareness. Then you need a bit of time to gain enegry, sleep and nutrician so that you have what you need to fight the next battle.

I recieved a new therapist 2 years ago. On purpose I kept my sessions very low keyed and at home working on things that would not stir the pot beyond what SKR and I had already been working on. This gave LL and I time to develop trust for each other and LL to learn the different aspects of my therapy program and what works for me.

If I hadn't taken the time that was needed I would would not be where I am today - medication free and not in some mental ward again and LL and I would not be where we are today - being a great therapy team, and getting into the harder stuff.

Hang in there ((((((((Anne)))))))) nothing happening on the outside is actually lots happening on the inside. while your life is calm your brain is doing the work neded to be done. Kind of like the brain integrates daily experiences when the person sleeps at night its doing its job of integrating the things you have recently been working on.