From your signature line, it looks like you have at least tried meds. Obviously not something that has worked for you. I have wanted to die most my life. I know what that hopelessness feels like. I didnt give up. The right med and therapy made all the difference. Find a pdoc that is willing to work with you to find the right med and dont give up till you find one that works. There is hope out there. I found it after all this time. You can too.

Hang in there.....