Thank you guys. I saw my counselor this week. She suggested I talk to the doc about going back on the medicine and also continue to seeing her. She truely believes this is one of those biological things rather than some incident or issue in my life causing the depression.

I FaceTime talked with my boyfriend tonight and I had to cover my face - I look disgusting and am so distracted by my face when I should be seeing him - which is the whole point of FaceTime.

I have not self harmed and remind myself that that action isn't going to make things better. I don't think purpose behind my self harm would be to make me feel better, but more as a punishment b/c I'm so ugly and hate myself so much...