You are very wise, mcl.

I described to T2 a day 3 yrs into therapy, when I set myself to imagine what my life would have been like if those key [traumatic] things had not happened in the early years. I realized that I would be living in another state; two of my siblings would never have been born; I would never have met my DH; in fact, a great many of the things I hold precious in my life would not be, if those long-ago, sad events had not happened. I told her, I understood on that day that God really does draw good out of evil.

She said, this realization is what moves one from "victim" to "survivor".

Now I have a new set of traumatic facts to look at, which T1 had overlooked, and it's like I am starting over, which is very hard. I tried last week asking myself the same question, but all I found was confusion. I cannot, from where I am now, conceive of finding any good drawn out of this. So.... I guess it's going to take some time.