Dear T,

It's been almost 3 weeks since I last saw you. I feel like I don't even really know how to be around you anymore. I'm not even really sure what I want to talk about. I know what I don't want to talk about, but probably should, though.

In the time since I saw you last, I feel like I've gone through periods of being a normal, functioning adult to times when I just want to curl up in bed and never get out again.

I feel like I've lost direction in therapy. Where am I going with all of this again?

For some reason I'm afraid you're going to be different. Hell, maybe I even want you to be different.

I'm scared to go back and I'm scared to stay away. Not the best position to be in.