Awww hun I know exactly where you are and I also felt so hopeless, so defeated! I thought it was the best thing for everybody that I went, and that it must be ok coz I was thinking about things logically. I did not realise though that my thoughts and feelings were squiff!!!! Also I thought that my children would be upset, then get over it....but in reality they don't stop blaming themselves ever!!! Plus they are significantly more likely to commit suicide themselves!!!!!!! Pls don't do this now! Give yourself a bit more time- are there opportunities for you to change your meds or just breathe a little bit more to look at things ...pls hun coz I know you'd be really missed here amongst other places!! (((((((hugs))))))))))