Ugh, I can relate. My mother was absolutely awful to me, as well.

It is impossible to live up to being perfect; yet, I kept trying until I literally broke down. And she was still emotionally and verbally abusive while I was totally broken.

She is a delusional, master manipulator and has to be the center of attention at all times. She got my sister in on the act, as well.

I just had to separate myself from them. It hurt so much and I tried a million times but it wasn't until my mother actually "slipped" and she said the words that can never be taken back. I left, finally, validated.

I (still) think she was just waiting for me to die so she could be "free" of the annoyance and misery that I caused her: since, according to her, everything was always my fault.

But I realize now I wasted years and years banging my head against the wall to reach someone that was totally un-reachable. I hope you will free yourself of the abuse earlier than I, so you can find your worth: and see just how lovely and wonderful you are.