My mom did this to me when I was little, to "prove" that I was violent and unruly. In reality, it was her who was violent, and manipulative, and would goad me into responding to her "teasing". I hated being filmed, it always felt so humiliating. I'm really sorry you have to go through that with your husband.
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http://www.queermentalhealth.org/ - Resource and support site for LGBTQ people and their partners
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