I hear addiction talking here. It will find any chink in your armor and wheedle it's way back into you, using whatever means necessary to get you hooked again on your drug(s) of choice. For a long time, alcohol was really my only drug of choice. When it became more than a social activity I also found that I needed more than just alcohol on some occasions; alcohol just wasn't enough at times. That's when addiction really kicks into high gear. The addicted mind (and body) is no longer in the drivers seat. I stick to my original suggestion which is to do everything in your power to resist any of the drugs you mentioned, including alcohol. Trust me when I say it will end badly, sooner or later. Get some outside help if you can, it's a hard row to hoe by yourself. Again, good luck, I'm pulling for you.