It brings me relief for the
PTSD I have.

I am numded and my thoughts are sugdued. The anxity goes away for those moments that I drink.
I hate it , I know I have this problem daily, four beers a mid day so I can recoup and no one noteists in the family. I have this trauma that
i went though and continue to go through.
Seeing a therapist for PTSD, Phd starting this week. I
don't want to hide this problem but "I do and I get relief when i do it. I have the boos mid day so that I can recover enough to do the family responsiblities that I have, I am sucessfully doing that. But the bottles of beer are under the bed, in hiding places. and I sicken myself for needed this to be numb during the mid day. I do not trust anyone, but I want to tell my new therpist about the pattern an get the help I need. Help, it's hell and when I am drinking enough bliss from painful emotions.
Can't tell my husband, he is angry about it if I do, if he would only understand and I could tell him how I feel, then I could get his support. But he is shut down w/it so I suffer alone with this cycle. What are anyones words of insight for me. I need it, Uthia