Life is just toooooooo much! I can't see how I'm going to be able to keep on living, with all this misery. I don't want to get up in the morning... in the evening I feel too down to even go to bed.... I know when I go to bed I can't relax enough to go to sleep. Because of this, I stay up late at night.
I will soon have an eye surgery done.... My tummy is in rebellion....
I've just endured huge difficulties with a "friend".
My son is not feeling good at all with the Asperger's disorder, right now. My daughter is standing in all this... getting hurt by her brother and so on... I'm worried about her as well as him.
My husband has got a depression. He's feeling a bit better now though.
My mom is not feeling well. My sister is fighting against depression.
My OCD is getting worse again...
I've just been doing all these tests- all the time being watched by the psychologist.... Now I'm waiting for the results... won't get them until the 15:th of june...
I've gained a lot of weight... feel so ugly!
I don't feel like meeting people! I can hardly look them in their eyes.
I just feel so useless... worthless.... numb... nothing!

We just got home from my son's child therapy... When he is seeing his psychologist, my husband and I talk to another psychologist about our son and how we're feeling ourselves. Today I didn't laugh, playing with words... I could hardly look the psychologist in the eye... Tears came up in my eyes... but they remained there and never fell down. I was talking in a very "down way"... Because I just feel soooo drained! I feel so out of energy!
About my son's appointment: Oh, dear... not cool! Went to meet him at the door in the end of his session.... I got so scared... because I could hear him screaming from inside the room. "Let me go! I hate you!..." etc. When the door opened... the psychologist was sweating like a pig... my son was upset. I asked what was wrong... My son wouldn't answer... The psychologist only said that my son had been upset and that things like that can happen.
Well... my mind started spinning! What had really happened in there???? Thoughts like...: did the psychologist do something to my boy...? did he touch him in a wrong way??? I had to very gently ask my son... about what had happened. He called me a few things, but slowly I got him to talk.
It turned out to be like this...: My son had been throwing sand all over the room, from the indoor sandpit they use in therapy. He had called the psychologist "ugly"... that he hated him and so on.... The psychologist had to hold him in a very firm way to try to get him calm down.
Then my son told me that this whole day has been a pain. He had cried in school... been worrying about stuff. I felt so bad for my little boy!!!!!
I spoke to the psychologist on the phone later, to talk about it all. He said, that my son was showing his frustration in front of him, because he knows him better and feel more secure with him now than before. The poor psychologist had to take what my husband and I are so used to take. Nasty words... name calling...
When we got home... the tears just came!

This is tooooooooo much!