~i am suffering so badly at this very moment, i want to say all thats going through my mind but the damn ADD says to me, that will take too long!! i hope that made sense to any of you out there!! Part of me is relieved and empowered by knowing im not "alone" yet as i look around i am! im bipolar, generalized anxiety disorder, ADD, and have been taken off my adderall after being on it for 4 years, with the same doc. Finding that medication was a God send, just as was my lithium!! and i am to blame, because i smoked a marijuana cig at a family Christmas Party,and when i went for my lithium level check at a local clinic instead of the lab i usually go they did a drug screen, my doc never asked 4 one in 4yrs, had i known i WOULD SO have chosen my medication!! i am disabled and thus live on a very fixed income and explained to him i didnt do this regularly by no means, heck i can barely afford my cigs and internet, my entertainments if you will!! he says there's no way he will prescribe a controlled substance to me ever again. and first spoke of strattera even tho i told him of the possibility of going manic as anti-depressants have a tendacy to do w/ bipolars, so i gather info on the strattera and on my next visit, he says he cant precribe that because im bipolar! i told him of the deep depression i am dealing w/ and how the adderall helped me to focus and lessen 200 trains of thought down to about 6 or 8! therefore being able to focus i could utilize the cognitive behavioral techniques i've learned throughout the yrs to "fight" the bipolar ups and downs. he said that we mainly focus on the bipolar and that he would add another mood stabilizer but thats all he could and or would do for me!! and this is a mental health facility and he said i could switch doc's but none there would differ with the medicine issues!! i feel hopeless LIKE IM GOING DOWN THE DRAIN AND THUS DROWNING AND IM HOLDING UP MY HANDS SIGNALING FOR HELP BUT THEY JUST THINK IM WAVING AND WAVE BACK AND MOVE ALONG!!!! Wow cant believe i actually sat here long enough to say all that, must have been the prayer i said asking for help to convey all this!! My Heart Goes Out to Any and All that Deal w/ this or related issues!!!!!!!!! ~Mandi LaShea~ aka Shortnsouthern...