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For years I refused to except that I suffer from bipolar because I wasn’t identifying with the mania. I sincerely hope your dx was wrong it would be great news but when I read your message it reminded me of me back in the day when I believed I was only having depressed feeling as a result of real problematic situations.
Even to this day I sometimes have a hard time seeing what other do. Mania provides me with feelings of self worth and optimism I never sense when depressed so I welcome the episodes strongly resisting the opinions of friends, family and the experts.
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Dousing the flames of ruin I have razed... smokey.
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