Hello.

I am triggered badly right now.

Because I am in the process, still, of having my teeth taken care of.

I went to this dentist last night because of some more terrible pain on a 7 on the scale.

I was looking online for emergency dental care and found this guy in my area.

He's a certain nationality. (I posted earlier about feeling triggered by people of ethnic groups because I was abused by them growing up---not racist, just triggered and I want to deal with it).

He took care of me last night when I was feeling so awful and he was nice to me. Did not abuse me, but my mind is confused and crosswired again becaue I "fall in love" with men who are nice to me.

gd it. I hate that! I hate that! I hate that! I hate that! When will I get over THAT?!

Bruce my roommate told me to call this dentist just now to follow up with and adjustment on my night guard and I don't know if I can.

I feel like running for my life.

Someone else on here shared in a thread about "running away".

My adult part knows I need to deal.

But I don't feel like I can.

I want to run!

Just checking in.

I hate how I react to nice men.

I hate that.

I want to never talk to him again. I am so gd afraid of my reactions! I don't trust myself and I don't trust them to not take advantage of me!

Billi