Quote:
Originally Posted by Plutonian
From the initial post: "Now my question is, since I haven't had problems with alcohol in the past, is this considered breaking sobriety? I know alcohol is considered a drug as well, hence the concern."
.... A drink a night this past weekend to counteract the pressure from my own mother, plus trying out new tastes? Eh, I am weak there, I can admit that. I am terrible at dealing with her in a rational manner. I also like the tastes of many different foods, but I don't find myself overeating either... It's hard drugs that have me at a loss when it comes to moderation because they are so much more preferable to alcohol.
My brother has asked me on more than one occasion to smoke with him in the last three weeks, and I have done well in fighting off those temptations because I know how problematic smoking is for me. The main issue here: I don't seek alcohol out to fill the void of other drugs at this moment, and my concern is could I potentially get to that point if I drink moderately like I used to. Would it become as problematic as other substances in my life? And since I do not like being drunk, a major concern is would I end up returning to my drugs of choice from having an occasional drink because I don't like being drunk?
Obviously, these are things I have to ask myself and answer myself, but it's helpful to bounce these thoughts off of other people who have been there, done that. |
I've omitted parts of your post, to address it more briefly. gulas and madisgram have answered you well, but you addressed me who addressed you, and so ...
Part one: Yes, you totally threw out your three weeks' sobriety. Give me the chip back.
Plutonian, you said (in your initial post to this thread), "Occasionally, maybe once every three or so months, I'd actually get drunk, have four plus drinks in one night." I consider having in excess of four drinks, getting drunk, roughly four times a year alcoholic drinking and a drinking problem. If that were the whole story, I wouldn't consider it much of a deal if it weren't impacting your life (relationships, work, etc) in any way. Or rather, I'd say it's a problem, & you'll have to deal will it some day--hope you don't hurt/kill anyone first. You're in denial.
However, you're a multiple addict. You are, essentially ignorant of what that means. You have not gone through any rehab program, and you havent educated yourself about drugs and addiction. At this point, your chances of survival (forget sobriety, I'm talking just survival here) for the next five years are about fifty-fifty. Your age is still in your favor. But you are in such denial!
Part two: If you aren't mature enough to say NO to anyone, including your mother, when the appropriate answer
for you is no, you'll never reach many of your goals. Be sure she's not an excuse for immaturity--moms make that so easy.
Don't compare tasting foods with tasting drinks. Wine "tasters" don't swallow--I'm guessing you did. Taste the ingredients in the drinks. Taste the drinks without the alcohol if it's the taste and
absolutely not the alcohol that you're interested in. Don't kid yourself. That would be the worst thing you could do.
Part Three: the essence is ... You do drink excessively, about four times a year. The addiction switch is on in your brain. You're a multiple addict, and alcohol is among your addictions. You've been feeding on stronger drugs lately, but that doesn't make that alcohol addiction any less, in the absence of other drugs.
If all the drugs we've ever had are absent from us, I'm not sure we won't find something else that will satisfy ... and if we do,
that I'm betting will become the new addiction.
SUMMARY: Alcohol is a drug. As a multiple addict with a history of alcohol abuse, you cannot use alcohol any more safely than you can use any of your other "drugs of choice" ever again in your lifetime. Addiction is a lifetime thing.
You are not detoxed from these drugs for varying periods for each drug; check on these with your doctor. Until then, you should not consider yourself "clean & sober."
I take this all One Day at a Time or 5 minutes. Everything is more central to my life than drug use. Life is good. I still fight the addiction, some days I fight for my life. So be it.
Roadie
