I'm sorry but I have to agree with others. My long term bf has to deal with my bipolarisms and so do I. I have to deal with his physical disease too. I am always cycling, meds haven't helped me too much. I do yoga, mindful meditation, use my spirituality to guide me, try to eat healthy and I have healed up most of my old wounds, and changed my unhealthy behavior and thought processes, it's constant work tho. I am accountable for how I behave, even while I am ill.

My bf doesn't have to deal with all that much, honestly he could be dealing with just as much or more with someone who is deemed " normal ". It just isn't a one way street, everyone has their own issues. Tape recording someone at the height of their illness to use against then is disturbing. It's also called blackmail and humiliation. It's not defendable in a marriage. How would it be if I recorded my bf while he was really physically ill, depressed and being downright negative about everything to use it against him later? The other problem is that you asked him to delete these and thar it made you uncomfortable. His response to that was utmost disrespect for you and your feelings. it's just not ok.

It sounds like you might be able to find some better ways to cope when your in a bad place, like not taking it out on him. But you already seem to recognize that you have stuff you can work on. He doesn't sound like he thinks he has anything to work on, that's the problem. It really does take two to make a relationship work, one person can't carry it alone.

Sorry, posted this at the same time as you.