I worry all the time about my health, yet I don't change my eating habits...for long, anyway. Sometimes I do better, but keep falling back.

I want to say I agree with you guys, that artificial sweeteners aren't good for you. I know there have been studies that show them as safe, and others that show them as harmful, and I have looked at information on both, and I just think they probably are harmful. I believe they do raise your appetite, maybe especially for sugary foods (which is kind of ironic), but I drink diet soda. I find myself more addicted to diet Pepsi Lime and even more to diet Wild Cherry Pepsi more than any other kind of Pepsi (which is my fave). I currently have two bottles of regular Wild Cherry Pepsi, because the few bottles I found of diet yesterday were all sticky--gross!!! The problems with the sugary sodas, of course, are calories and the problems sugar brings.

I also believe processed foods are bad for us, because most of them convert into sugar. And low-fat foods aren't always good, because the missing fat is usually replaced by sugar. Pasta and rice = sugar. But it's hard to resist temptation.

I could change my dietary lifestyle much easier if I didn't have to cook for my boyfriend or anyone else. I didn't before him, and I was able to lose weight and do much better. I keep planning not to eat what I cook for him, but once I start, it's like, I don't feel like making another meal. Plus, cooking, for me, means OCD washing, and there's rituals and methods of touching and other stuff associated with it, so it's different than it is for other people.

But I don't want to die.

I'm not a doctor, and I've never been on illegal drugs, but I believe that being addicted to food is just as addictive as heroin and other drugs. I could be wrong, and I'm not trying to belittle those who have been addicted to drugs and alcohol (in fact, I'm talking about food addiction being just as bad, not alc and drugs being not as bad as they say), but I know I'm having a hard time with this.