I am also glad the anti-depression medication is working sometimes it does take a while. I think we all have bad thoughts sometimes the good thing is that you are aware of them and you know they are bad, so I hope you will not act on them which i don't think you will. Sounds like you are doing everything right and you have a lot of support which is good. We are here for you also if you just want to vent this is a good place to do it. Sending positive vibes and good thoughts your way! take care.