Yes CantExplain I agree with what you have pointed out. I know that he says he failed but it only makes me think if I would have responded differently to therapy, it wouldn't be this way.

When this all came about two weeks ago I told t that I wanted to meet with another t for a few sessions to sort out my relationship with current t and he agreed to it. It is only a temporary thing. I guess I will have to make a choice sometime in the near future. This new t agreed to see me but said that I could not see her and current t in the same week. I thought I would go everyother week until I figure it out.

I do agree that it will clarify things and give me something to compare. I actually did do one other consultation with another t a couple of years ago and it made me just want to run back to my t's office because he was so much better. I have never thought about finding another t until all of this came about.

My t and I have had so many fights/repairs. I just don't know. I can still remember the time he told me he would be relieved if I cancelled all of my appointments and I didn't ever come back. That will stay with me for life. He meant that he did not want to put me through something I didn't want to do. To force me to do therapy but I think it was a real bad way of saying that. Obviously, something special is there because who would continue with all of this bad stuff if there wasn't something promising underneath?