Hi Lexi, I too am sorry you are having such a tuff time of it. It is good that you are aware of what is happening and can talk with us. Sometimes for me to make a phrase and say it repeatedly helps a lot. Something like; "That was a horrible time for me and I suffered a lot of pain. Now I am older and it is in the past, it's just a memory, it is over, I am safe" Whatever makes sense to you. I say " I am safe now, no one is hurting me". Good luck. I also need to validate that the experience was horrid."it was horrid and I lived through it, here I am"