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Thank you to everyone that answered. When I got home from work this morning the situation rapidly went to hell in a handbasket. It doesn't happen often but he triggered me and I just came unglued.
I found out there was no compromise to be had because he had to do it his way and I had to be there when he boiled it to prove (his words) "How stupid you're acting and how retarded what you're feeling is. It's a lobster the fact you care about a lobster and how it dies is literally the most idiotic thing ever in the history of stupid things. You'll see that you're wrong and I'm right." I grew up with that crap and I don't have to put up with it in my marriage. My temper is legendary in my family(which is saying something when you consider the source). He's never seen a full blown meltdown before so he's still processing it. I scheduled an appointment with his shrink for both of us. I figure we're going to need someone to mediate the situation once he's over his shock.
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