Well he has reason to be insecure with her, she cheated on him didn't she? Despite whether or not he deserves her. And if she chooses money over love and leads other people on and gets involved with married people she might not be quite as deserving of being on a pedestal either. Just a little perspective. It would be easier to deal with your problems if him and her just sort of sailed away out of the picture completely you know? You need to let go of her and I don't think him talking to your wife it helping that process along.

Therapist, sounds like mine, she listens, but that's about it. If you google " how to find a good therapist" you find lots of articles with questions to ask potential therapists. I hope that will help some. Looking for a new T sounds like a good idea!