Quote:
Originally Posted by velcro003
why wouldn't you tell the T about it?
why was it silly to give in? and what is the point of telling friends just to deflect any questions?
There is a point to all of this  You seem similar in some ways. Do you feel that your childhood has effected your thought processes today? About how you see the world? What you expect from others? (Or not) NO ONE likes to be controlled or manipulated, but i would think that most people wouldn't think of all T's as "wily," or "manipulative." Do you think that you think these things BECAUSE of how you were treated?
do you believe that it is absolutely human nature to have the need to connect with others, be attached, feel supported? we are social beings-that is how we survived, evolutionary and as babies. There have been studies showing that babies in orphanages die not because they were malnourished or not properly dressed--it was literally because they were never held by the nurses. They died because there was no attachment to another human being. |
It was just silly and stupid and pointless to tell the therapist. Or perhaps weak is a better word.
If no one likes it, why is is so prevalent with so many people letting it happen?
With friends, I just have to be able to withstand and sidestep their unsettling attempts (well meaning but very aggravating to me) to provide comfort. I have to be in a place of self control to tolerate and deflect their concern which, while well meaning, is very annoying to me. Because they are friends, one must tolerate a certain amount of it from them. I have attachments that are controlled and useful. I just don't understand what one is supposed to do with connection or attachment to the therapist.
Quote:
Originally Posted by elliemay
Oh no, quite the opposite, Stopdog you are very unique - just not abnormal.
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I see. I am not so worried about being abnormal. My mother found me completely weird and usually wrong, the rest of the family thinks I am odd, my friends consider me somewhat unusual, and the therapist has called me challenging and eccentric, and even here I seem in the minority in my approach and what I want- so I am sort of used to it. But I do not think I am unique or special - that is what I was getting at. I realize everyone else feels or thinks or does etc most of the same things I do, feel etc. The only thing I have been abnormal about (and this may just be abnormal for me) is I chose that therapist to tell rather than just waiting until I was more under control about my father in order to tell real people in my life. And I should have exercised more self discipline.