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He's schizophrenic and has some other issues as well. He's not really sadistic but he can be verbally abusive. He was raised that you can say anything and as long as it's family or friends well then they have to forgive you. I've been around his family and this is how they all communicate. His family is full of mental illnesses/personality disorders and they all take the "I can't help my behavior I'm crazy!" attitude. They do whatever they want and if someone gets hurt well it's not their fault they can't help it. Right now we are(at his Pdoc's insistence) limiting contact with them. When he was a kid he got hit in the head with a hammer and had a pretty bad concussion from it.(one of hundreds of incidents) His dad threw a hammer because he got mad at something he was working on. The closest D got to an apology was "It's not my fault. I didn't see you. You shouldn't have been standing there." Nothing is ever their fault. It's always your fault because you made them mad, your fault because you were there or it just happened because they're crazy which makes it not their fault because you can't help being mentally ill.
Normally I cut him off at the first hateful thing he says and tell him "D! Think about your words is that how you talk to someone you love?" Usually he'll stop, think, apologize and then nicely rephrase what he was saying but this time.... I don't know. There was no derailing this and his crazy slammed head first into my crazy. Now that I have calmed down I'll try to talk to him in the morning. I want to apologize and explain what triggered me. I also plan on telling him I want to sign up for marriage counseling. We both have issues that we deal with which makes commuinication very tricky sometimes. I just can't believe all this over a lobster dinner. I mean there has to be something underlying it. Something anything deeper than a fricking lobster dinner.
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