Have you ever heard the phrase "I may not be much, but I'm all I think about." That is how deep depression feels to me. It's a dark pit of self-absorption--a very small emotional world where only my feelings matter to me--even if I see my depression injuring someone I love, I only really care because my guilt about it makes me feel worse. Their pain is an inconvenience to me. I can watch this happen, but I seem powerless to move beyond the self-centeredness that has engulfed me and become my obsession. "I am worthless. I don't deserve to live. I'm a fraud. I am weak. I should be punished." I have such a laser focus on myself that other people's needs and feelings seem like interruptions that I resent. While meaningful nurturing connection may be exactly what I need to pull me out of myself, it is precisely what I resist and certainly not something I think I'm worthy of. This is just my experience.

Given that you don't believe you are unique, your mother finding you weird and usually wrong seems to provide the explanation of why you feel a continuing sense of wrongness. As a human, like it or not, the feedback your mother gave you about your basic nature shaped your self-perception. This is basic attachment theory. Your self-perception has already been deformed by a warped attachment relationship with your mom. How could it not make sense to you that the amelioration of your self-perception then would also lie in attachment? So you can have the corrective experience which you've no doubt read about? And since experience did the bulk of the damage, experience is necessary for the bulk of repair. Mere information is insufficient.