Im so sorry you are going through this. Love can be the best or hurt the worst. I know how you feel about being with him for so long. You do have to put yourself first because no one else is going to do it for you. You have to work on you and not feel guilty for being sick. You are a good person and deserve a strong partner who can hang and pick up the slack when needed. He sounds like hes not strong enough of a person to be with you. Weak minded or close minded people can not handle us. Just be the independent person you are deep down inside and stand on your two feet with your shoulders held high. You are a beautiful person and you deserve better. You can and will get better, it just takes time and perseverance. You will come out on top and look back at this and hopefully he will be standing beside you being your friend looking back on the times you held on by your toes, but the point is that you held on and pulled yourself through. He may come around but it will be after you realize you can be your own person. Keep posting here because we all believe in you. Message me anytime you need. Hugs to you