I just found a wonderful T. I have only seen her one time but it was different than any other therapy session I have ever had. She didnt just listen and tell me she knows its hard and suggest blah blah blah. She used experience and expertise to tell me what needs to be done in my life. Suggested things to me I never thought possible. Having a good T is a very important thing in our illness. Im so thankful to God for leading me to her.

I wish I had more advice on the lover/wife soap opera. I have been where you are. I left my husband for a younger man that I thought understood me and knew me and loved me and all that. He told me what I needed to hear and made me feel amazing and young and loved. It wasnt real though. It was my sickness. I believe I had real love but it was not real love returned to me. I was so head over heels at one point that I lost myself in him. Its sickening what I can do when I am that manic. I walked out of my house and left my husband and two children behind and didnt look back because I was living in this delusion that this other man was what I needed for me and my children. I couldnt wrap my head around anything rational. I turned on all my friends and family, I thought they were against me and that this man was the only person who believed in me. The truth was everyone but him was trying so hard to reach me and get me help. I had no idea what was going on. All I knew was to run and fast. That happened two years ago in September. I am now back with my husband and I can look back and see how things really were. If you can back up and look from the outside in. Its a whole different story.

I had to learn that I could only count on me. That I had to be independent and love me before I could expect anyone else to. I also had to realize I was sick and forgive myself and make amends to my family and friends and most of all my children and my husband. I decided I would spend the rest of my life proving to them that they are what keeps me going because they are. Things are good now. My husband is an amazing person. Without him I honestly do not know where I would be. He is literally and extension of myself. The other half of my heart. We are closer now since the affair than we ever were before. Our love is stronger and our bond is deeper because of what we went through. We now know that life is not greener on the other side and we love one another and we are faithful to one another. This is what I want for you. This is what can happen. Keep your mind open and dont ever lose your faith. God works in very mysterious ways. Many hugs to you.