I am sorry to hear what happened to you and how it has affected your life. On the positive side - it sounds like you have a wonderful, understanding fiance. In short - a keeper! Have you had counseling to help you deal with the terrible trauma that you suffered? As a fellow trauma sufferer, I know it is very hard to get over. I have been dealing with it on my own. You are very lucky to have a compassionate fiance who can support you through the process, wherever it may lead. Please seek professional counseling as soon as possible. I wish you all the best.