((((AlexRawr)))),

What you are discribing about yourself is that you are going through the grieving process. This desire to yell, kick, curl up, be mad at everyone? That is because this loss of your brother has been tramatic for all of you. And the circumstances around it are very troubling and NO one knows what to do with all the emotions that surround it. And what you ALL really need? Is you should all be seeing a therapist to help you each grieve in your own ways and find your own ways to come to terms with this very troubling loss.

Right now, ALL of you feel very vulnerable and confused THIS IS A NORMAL HUMAN RESPONSE TO A LOSS LIKE THIS. And there is a lot involved in this loss to sort through Alex. This is going to take time for all of you to work your way through. And what you are experiencing is each of you has a need for a strong pressence that can reassure you that it will be ok and you will get through it and each of you deserve to be helped and soothed and are allowed to just let go and actually GRIEVE.

Alex, what you are doing right now, coming to PC and talking about what you are experiencing right now is GOOD. You need to be able to do this, just vent and let out what your feeling and have someone listen and tell you that this is normal and that you just need to talk as much as you need and as many times as you need too.

And what is going on in your family right now? Everyone is struggling even your mother and no one really knows how to feel right now, not even your mom. You ALL need a strong source of comfort right now. No one is trying to ignore you Alex REALLY. What ever you feel? Everyone else is feeling too. You are all grieving seperately and you all have to slowly move towards each other and find ways to grieve together more an more. You all have to find your way back to finding a new way to become a family again. Right now your mother doesn't know how to do that yet, she has a lot to process herself. She truely is at a loss Alex and this is going to take time. Dont just think that you are going to continue to be alone and lost with this, remind yourself that all of you are feeling this and it is going to take time for all of you to find your way through this.

Alex? Do you have a therapist to help all of you with this? Because if you don't, you have to speak up and convince everyone/your mother that you have to reach out for this. This is very important for all of you to have this.

Please keep coming and talking and allow us to support you here ok?

(((My arms are reaching out to you Alex, I am here, we are all here for you with lots of comforting hugs for you))))

Open Eyes