Alex! Yes, I hear you & I would be plenty frustrated with everyone too! --even if I understood that they were hurting too, not any reason to shut you out.

Sure you're mad & want to scream & strike out. Me too, I think I might feel that way too if I couldn't get some attention & love from my mom & family. Life really stinks sometimes.

No one's ever come up with a reason why life sucks that makes us feel any better about it. And that sucks too.

I wish pulling the sheets over our heads & sleeping for a week could make it all go away. That doesn't work either, & if you tried to end it & go find Ruben he'd probably tell you it wasn't your time, that you've got stuff to do here & just chase you right on back!

Just can't win some things I don't think. Guess some of us are stuck with hanging on. Try to find someone--a teacher, someone--who will give you time & will hear you. Please try to find that someone. That is your lifeline. That person is somewhere but you are going to have to take some risk to find him/her. You must meet someone new at school perhaps.

Keep posting. Keep trying through the grief links. There may be a local connection with someone through that.

* gentle hugs galore , sitting near *

Roadie