You guys have been awesome and I appreciate each and every one of your responses.

Last night, again, I asked him to delete the recordings. He asked me again why it bothers me so much. I told him I already told him why. He made a few comments after that basically about him not getting why they bother me so much. He did actually delete them off his phone and said he hadn't synched his phone with the iPad or laptop yet so they shouldn't be on there.

You guys are right - I do think he has mental issues he refuses to face. When we were in counseling our counselor didn't have enough of a backbone to really say anything to him. The counselor asked me to participate in his group therapy thing, which I did for a while, and I can't count the number of times my husband said "yah, no wonder the counselor wanted you in group therapy.".....The underlying reason for group therapy wasn't so much the bipolar, it was all the family issues and stuff from my past and my husband knew that, but still used it for ammo. EVERYTHING is used for ammo. I pray everyday, I pray with my best friend also from time to time that he will open his eyes and work on some of his issues and he simply won't.
Whenever the conversation turns to his issues, he either gets irate, changes the subject back to all the things I do wrong, or he gives me the silent treatment.

I don't want to end my marriage. When things are good with us, they are sooooo good. People around us even notice. He's can be my best friend, my buddy, but those times are getting fewer and far between.

Another big issue is that his mom has, what we all believe to be bipolar also. She cycles like clockwork and his dad calls my husband whenever she's having a moment and they talk about it. My husband describes both his mother's and my behavior as dealing with "crazy-town adventures" all the time. Listening to the way both him and his dad talk about his mom, none of it is compassionate, understanding or caring.....All of it has to do with the word crazy, etc...I'm sure that behind my back he talks about me this way to his friends and dad also.

I've tried everything. I have begged and pleaded for him to start to change how he views this illness and me. I asked him point blank if he was willing to change how he viewed me and bipolar and he never answered the question, but used the conversation as a way to vent his frustrations yet again.

I'm still not giving up yet, but I know I won't be able to live the rest of my life with a husband who views his wife in the manner he does. One of these days, I will have had enough.