I should add - his major issues with me stem from a COMPLETE lack of compassion or sympathy based on me trying to manage my illness. He is constantly pissed because I sleep too much. Well, he's a morning person, I need that extra sleep. But, he still complains and complains......I have tried to tell him that I am the most stable on 9-10 hours of sleep and he doesn't get it. So, if I wake up late, I get the silent treatment or him *****ing at me.
His big thing is nutrition. He's constantly pissed at me because I don't eat right according to him. I have quit my 1-3 soda pop a day habit and have virtually cut out almost all junk food. He still complains "I do nothing to help myself".
I take my meds on time every day. The biggest thing I don't do is exercise regularly. I've never liked exercise and when you are on a downward slump, it's impossible to make yourself do that. When I'm more manic, I get plenty of exercise just running around my house cleaning and cooking like a mad lady.
If he sees me start to get depressed, he withdraws......which makes me more depressed and feeling rejected.....I have told him time and time again that I need him to be right there with me, sweetly and kindly helping me through it. He refuses and makes excuses later. ALL of his excuses have to do with him telling me what I do wrong.
Most of all though, his constant reminding of how disappointing I am to him is what sends me over the edge. The last thing I need when I'm depressed is to hear him complain about everything I'm not doing around the house. I also take a full credit load of classes online right now and all I hear is how much time I spend "away from my family" while studying.
Basically, in his eyes, he has to do everything for his invalid bipolar wife and I am not exaggerating...To hear him talk, he does everything, I do nothing....All of this really does wonders for my self-esteem and mood.