My Support Forums - View Single Post - end of a 15-year-old relationship

Irreplaceable · Apr 18, 2012, 01:55 PM

How old is the poster? Poster, how old are you? Yes I'm asking for a reason...Moving along...

My response is intended to both make you laugh and smile, while giving you some good tips...Things that I've learned from experience...

First, cry cry cry cry it out. Allow yourself the time to grieve and mourn the ending of your relationship. During this time, come to peace with yourself and the mistakes that you have made. Also, remember that he wasn't without fault during the marriage. Come to peace that the right decision has been made to dissolve the marriage. During this time, listen to music. Music is like therapy to me. Don't listen to "Oh please come back I love you" music. Listen to music that empowers you and says, "I'm tired of the drama I'm moving on!". During this time have very limited contact with him. When you talk, it should be to talk about the kids. He is another woman's problem or responsibility and what he does shouldn't be of concern to you. Grieve and let it go.

Second, make sure that you have a friend or someone who is willing to allow you to vent and can provide you with advice. It's good to have a support system for support during a breakup.

Work on yourself. You are without a partner so now is the time to work on yourself so that when you do meet the next person, you are ready and without baggage. Maybe change your appearance a little. You know how women cut their hair when their relationship ends? Change your hair color, cut your hair, get in shape. Do something that will make you feel good and feel like a new person. Cutting hair after a breakup is symbolic for shedding/letting go of the past relationship. Give yourself a mini make over. Make your ex ask himself why he let you go. Don't do it to get him back, do it to empower you and make him think twice. While he is thinking twice, ignore him and keep it moving.

An idle mind is the devil's workshop. Fill your time with things to do. Exercise, find hobbies, crochet, do whatever. Spend time with yourself and treat yourself. For example, treat yourself to massages, manicures, pedicures. Go out with friends or occupy your time by doing things with your friends. Go out to bars, clubs, etc. Dance and have fun. Live life. Meet new men. Enjoy yourself being single!!! Maybe try attending a male review. If you do go to one of those, for the love of Pete please don't look like one of those painfully obvious desperate women. I become embarrassed for them when I witness some of the foolery. I'm telling you, there is nothing like that visual reminder of what other men look like and what other men can do when it comes to...Well, you know...

***clears throat***
Now this next one...Is totally up to you...And because I'm on my work pc, and because I don't want to offend anyone on here, I won't blurt out this next one. I will however hint. Get you a new man. I know I know I know...The thought of a relationship right now is not what is on your mind...You don't need him for a relationship. Use him, then leave him. Get one good one out. Just one night. All you need is one good "ONE"...Just one good "ONE". If you are a older woman, now is the time to become a cougar. I repeat, now is the time for you to become a cougar! Find you one, do what you do and relieve some stress! By God by the time you are done, your ex won't even be on your mind. You need to get it out.

Change your mentality. If this relationship is really over, you thinking there is still a chance of reconciliation is a bad idea. By having this mentality, you will remain mentally stuck in this relationship. You won't be giving yourself a chance to move on in your life. You're holding on to hope, crying and upset, meanwhile, he isn't thinking about the relationship. The relationship you should be trying to foster is your relationship with your kids. A man will come and go but your kids are your blood and they will forever be in your life.