I think you need to take a deep breath and take a step back here. He really is doing the responsible thing by waiting to explain this diagnosis to you at your next appointment. You already have some idea what the diagnosis is going to be -- either schizophrenia or schizoaffective most likely. I doubt it will come as much of a shock to you. And you can research these two disorders now while you wait for your next appointment with him.

I guess I just don't understand why you feel so anxious to know exactly what he wrote immediately? What do think will change if you know right now, as opposed to a few weeks from now?