I'd like to recommend a book I"m reading, though take this with a grain of salt -- I haven't finished the book yet (and actually haven't had time/energy to pick it up lately...).

Anyways, my last T highly, highly recommend "The Dance of Anger." It's actually a book directed towards women and helping them voice their anger in healthy ways that lead to communication and positive growth, but I think the message could still be applied to your situation. One example that came to mind is when the author discusses an adult daughter and her relationship with her mother. She talks about how the daughter has to make changes in her own life because she is only responsible for herself, not for her mother's thoughts and actions. But by changing her own actions, the relationship with the mother is changed as well. What I'm trying to say is that you aren't responsible for your wife's feelings, actions, etc, but you are responsible for your own. Perhaps changing the way you interact with her or communicate with her will lead to changes within the relationship.

I find the book very interesting, and I would really like to get back to reading it. I can't promise it'll make everything better, but it's pretty easy to read and as enjoyable as a self-help book can be.

Good luck! Sorry things have hit a rough patch between you and your wife.