Hey Everyone. Great to be here.
I have been reading posts from here and from abuse survivors and for the first time in months,I don't feel so alone. For months I thought I was going crazy,and finding myself thinking this can't be normal. As I go through the posts,I see that other people are going through the same thing. I won't go into it all now,but if you have any questions,please feel free to ask. I was in a very abusive relationship for a long time and been out of it for quite sometime now. I now have PTSD and the symptoms seem to be getting worse,they control every aspect of my life,including my relationship. I also have other disorders,one of wich is BPD. After I left the abusive relationship,I started doing alot of soul searching and getting stronger. I even started writing a book,dealing with mental illness,abuse, what My children and I went through and what I had learned about life,love and myself.I got into and still in a relationship 3 years ago(not abusive) when I was at what I see as a very critical point in my soulsearching. Dealing with the abuse that we went throughand forgiving myself for not protecting my children. My fiance has a child with his ex(very controling and jealous.She caused alot of problems for us.So to make a long story,short(lol) I was there for my fiance and stepson 110% but put myself and what I needed to do on the back burner. The PTSD symptoms started getting bad not to long after we got together,and over time would get worse to the point where it is today,I didn't know until late last year,early this year what it was and that was only cause I was looking for info on the net on healing from abuse. I know what the BPD me is like and that wasn't it there was something else going on with my mind. My fiance and I took a couple of online tests for PTSD and I past both with flying colors. We tried to talk to my T about it but all they said was you are not going crazy and that the therapy(DBT skills) were more imprtant than the diagnosis.He also asked me if the symptoms got worse since finding the info on the net.(lol)So I still don't know alot about PTSD or comlpex PTSD so I would be greatful for any info,and to talk to others. I am already greatfull for finding this site. Thank You