Hey Mue! Oh the group.............(I know).

I hate that let down feeling when you are getting yourself pepped up enough to do some brave sharing and have needs from the group yourself and then someone else in the group jumps in and it takes a huge monumentous turn dynamics. Suddenly there is no way you can share what you were going to. That sucks terribly. There is no other way to put it. I would be sad and frusterated too.

I understand the feeling ignored by t thing. I just in the last few months brought up to t that he talks to everyone else in dbt but me. That when I share my homework the other t responds and he never does. He said he hadn't noticed but it was possible that he felt a little ackward in there being my t. Which is really weird because he is other peoples t in there too but whatever. Anyway the point being, I hope you can say to your t today how discouraged you felt when you looked at him to do your grounding and he was never looking back at you. That you felt insignificant and it made you sad. Try to use non judgemental words and a lot of "I feel" statements. That works the best for me if I want a result. I think I brought it up with my t like, "Hey did you ever notice that you aren't __________ in group?"

I feel so much for you and your group struggles MUE. What I gather about this situation from your postings is that you are really trying to give to other group members continuously and it is not being returned to you. This is a sure and fast way of burn out for you. It is probably similar to your other relationships, you give and they take. Or maybe it is you give but are not able to take the risk of being vulnerable to others. I used to be that way too but with out the vulnerability factor to some extent there is no true relationship or connection. It is just an exchange of words with someone else in this world that we live in.

Like I have said before what you are doing is the hardest therapy work there is. It has so many dynamics and levels to it especially when your own individual t is added to the mix. You are a very brave gal, or a very big dumb-dumb! Ha Just kidding.

Next time can you go in there and say right away, "I'll start" and jump right in. That is the best approach one can have at setting the tone and focusing in on what is going to help you. Don't worry other people in the group do it all the time as you know. Go get em, Tiger!